


Isla Paraiso

by Spoon888



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Continuity Mashup, Drunk Sex, Drunken Shenanigans, Everyone Is Gay, Human AU, Humanformers, M/M, Megatron Throws His Weight Around, Military base, No Plot/Plotless, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Shameless Smut, Sickfic, Skinny Dipping, Slice of Life, Sparring, The Elite Trine Are Triplets, Untagged Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 13:09:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15510591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888
Summary: A collection of short stories where the Decepticons are humans, live on an island military base in the middle of the ocean, and Starscream, as always, is pretty gay.It's as bad as it sounds, I promise.





	1. Some Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the amazing art and headcanon's of [Kiwiitin](https://kiwiitin.tumblr.com), and chocked full of our inside jokes and self indulgence.
> 
> Please check out the mouth watering character designs [here](https://kiwiitin.tumblr.com/post/175615068959/sorry-i-died-for-a-bit-guys-d-but-im-back-and) and give them some love.

It was the strangest thing, that moment when he realised what he wanted. _Who_ he wanted.

Starscream cast it off as a result of the dry spell he'd been suffering. It was a by-product of his frustration, coupled with stress over Thundercracker's recent fling with one of the other pilots, that sickeningly loyal Skyquake. Urgh. He'd think someone genetically identical to him would have better taste.

Or perhaps neither of them had taste.

He couldn't help but stare over the top of his clipboard, watching as Megatron leant his superior strength to some of the engineers as they steered an improved engine into place over a jeep, ready to lower it in.

His greying hair had fallen from it's perfectly swept back, glued down rigid shape. His jacket was off, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, sweat dampening around collar and back, turning the white of his shirt translucent.

Starscream's gut coiled tightly when Megatron stepped back and swiped the back of his hand across his forehead, smearing a smudge of grease across flushed skin.

He really needed to get himself laid if he was desperate enough to start ogling Megatron of all men. He was hardly a catch. Pompous, stiff, old, scarred, and stacked with muscle like a mythological god-

Starscream turned away, clawed glove-tips scoring grooves into the back of the plastic clipboard.

"Star!" Skywarp came hurrying up to him, hair a disaster and uniform not much better. "You haven't taken role call yet, have you?"

Perfect, something to take his anger out on.

He spitefully drew a huge slash through Skywarp's name. "Late again, Skywarp," he sneered. "That's strike three. You're on ground duties for the week."

"Bu-" Skywarp's face fell, his eyes widening sorrowfully, "But Star!"

"Two weeks for insubordination!" Starscream smacked him in the chest with the clipboard. "Refuel my jet. I'll be taking your place."

He left Skywarp to curse behind his back, eye twitching with the effort it took not to stare at Megatron out of the corner of his eye as the man bent at the waist to inspect the engine he was working on- the fabric of his uniform taunt over his ass.

 _God_ , he needed to get laid.

 

* * *

 

He got laid.

By some nameless loser in logistics. Tall but lean, not quite muscular enough -nothing to _grab_.

Starscream only finished by his own efforts, on his knees, hand gripping himself as he waited for the inadequate idiot to get on with it.

It could have been better. _Should_ have been better. He liked sex, but something just wasn't hitting the spot.

He stole a tub of ice cream from the mess afterwards, ate the entire thing, and fell asleep nauseous and miserable.

 

* * *

 

It was raining out -hellish jungle weather- so Starscream stood just inside the hanger, sneering at the heavy downpour flooding his airfield. There'd be no takeoffs today, and nothing to take his mind off the more menial aspects of life on this island.

He watched the inspection crew out on the tarmac, some of them crouched under a plane wing whilst others futilely shielded themselves with their clipboards. Megatron was with them. He was the one stubbornly stood unprotected from the elements, arms folded, letting the rain drench him.

The old fool was unlikely to catch phenomena in such a tropical climate, but Starscream hoped fate and karma made an exception for him.

The group turned and began heading back inside. While the inspection crew did their awkwardly embarrassing half-run for shelter, Megatron strode in even, measured steps behind them. The closer he came, the more Starscream's pulse quickened.

He was soaked through, his uniform stuck to every muscle, every edge and curve of his impressive physic, showing off a definition to the abs usually hidden under wool jacket and silk shirt that no man Megatron's age should have had.

His leader threw his head back as he walked, and time seemed to slow in Starscream's desperately horny brain as the motion tossed Megatron's sodden hair out of his eyes.

"Starscream," he growled, drawing level, and close enough now that Starscream could see water drip off the end of his broad nose. "Adverse weather is no excuse to shirk your responsibilities."

Starscream just nodded. He couldn't say anything else, and he couldn't look away from Megatron's face because the man's pecks were visible through the sodden material of his shirt. He was in serious danger of winning a spring-break wet t-shirt contest.

Satisfied, Megatron nodded and walked away. Starscream watched him go. Watched his _ass,_ at least.

Maybe it hadn't been the dry spell...

 

* * *

 

Someone from engineering this time. Someone big, burly, and older than him, by as many years as he could physically stomach. Too much grey hair, and it'd be almost like getting fucked by-

No, he shouldn't think about that. Not as he was gripping the rickety bedposts of the engineer's cot, trying to get into a state of mind to actually enjoy himself enough to even bother telling his pick-up to try changing the angle of his thrusts if he wanted to find his prostate.

The hands on his hips were big and squeezing, palms rough with work. Starscream imagined it would be what a certain other man's hands felt like, that the deep voice behind him grunting was just similar enough-

A thick groan, and his partner slowed, fingers digging into his hips. The lazy thrusts suddenly felt a lot slicker.

"Oh, great," Starscream snarled, releasing the bedposts, rolling his shoulders where they ached.

"You finish?"

He scoffed. Of course he hadn't. His arousal had dwindled now anyway. He elbowed the engineer away, reaching for his uniform, tugging his trousers on.

"Yes," he lied, because he didn't want a rumour of impotence getting around the base. Then he'd never get laid.

He adjusted his uniform just enough to ensure he'd get no questions on his walk back to quarters and went for the door.

"Thanks," the engineer called after him, sarcastic.

Starscream just sneered and slammed the door on his way out. Thanks indeed.

 

* * *

 

One huge hand settled on Starscream's shoulder as Megatron leant over him to adjust a marker on the map with a thoughtful hum. It was late, and Megatron had removed his jacket, gloves, tie, and hat. He'd unbuttoned the top of his collar, and all Starscream could smell was gunpowder and boot-polish.

"It's late," Megatron's sonorous voice murmured distractedly as he frowned over his map. His hand squeezed Starscream's shoulder. "You can go..."

Starscream stood. The hand fell from his shoulder and braced against the table Megatron was bowed over. He swallowed thickly, but his leader noticed little about his flustered state.

He left wordlessly.

Ten minutes later he hadn't even bothered removing his uniform- unbuckling his belt with one hand and pulling off his glove with his teeth. He wrapped his bare hand around the base of his erection and it was over- over before he'd even thought about it.

He sat, slumped on the floor, cum splattered down the front of his uniform and dripping between his fingers.

Oh, Hell.

 

* * *

 

Subtle seduction just did not work with Megatron. He was too engrossed with his work to be anything other than completely oblivious to winks and smirks and casual brushes by in doorways. Starscream didn't know how many times he had tried to initiate a game of under table footsie before getting frustrated and just kicking him. But it was almost worth the threat of getting his booted heels confiscated just to have Megatron _look_ at him, dammit.

He needed to be obvious. He needed to leave no doubt in Megatron's distracted head that he wanted the old fool to bend him over and give him a few inches of toe curling pleasure.

He downloaded the schedules, spent an entire night hacking into Soundwave's database to steal some of the encrypted door codes, tricked Skywarp into pranking some of Megatron's most enamoured stalkers with a sack of potatoes and unhindered access to the tanks, and downloaded God knows how much malware onto the main computer watching as much porn as the graveyard shift gave him time to.

That should sufficiently distract any attempted party-poopers.

When the night arrived, he let himself into Megatron's quarters.

His leader wasn't home yet. Good, gave Starscream time to set the scene, arrange himself into an appropriately seductive pose. Sprawled across the bed naked was probably his safest bet.

Or maybe he'd leave his boots on? His gloves too.

When the door pinged to signal an arrival, Starscream threw himself across the covers, stretched out on his back, one leg bent to show off the impressive heel of his boot, his gloved fingers tugging at the rim of his hat -which he'd also chosen to leave on, why not. Megatron wouldn't be able to resist-

Soundwave's dark mask stared across the room, a handgun held in front of him, muzzle pointed at his face.

Starscream stared.

Soundwave's grip faltered, and the mask suddenly flashed to show a zoomed in, blurred image of Munch's 'The Scream'- undoubtably a meme. Undoubtably the influence of his delinquent children.

A hand appeared on Soundwave's shoulder and the loyal lieutenant was turned aside to reveal Megatron. The scowl fell from his face as he stared in, mouth dropping open to betray shock.

Starscream tore the hat off his head before either of them could say anything, "Soundwave can watch, but he can't join in."

Soundwave's mask turned to Megatron and a big red X appeared across the screen with a negative sounding buzz.

 

* * *

 

  
Megatron shooed Soundwave away with a low rumbled promise that he could 'deal' with Starscream from here.

Starscream stayed where he was on the bed, heart in his throat, pumping hard with fear and exhilaration. There was a dangerous glint to Megatron's gaze, and he honestly didn't know if he was about to be torn or fucked to pieces. Nor which would hurt more.

Megatron walked around the bed, stopping before Starscream's feet. He took his boot by it's heel, lifted it, and wordlessly began to unzip from below the knee downwards. Slowly. Very slowly.

Starscream began to tug his gloves off.

"Leave them on," Megatron ordered, tugging the boot off before moving to the other.

Starscream toes curled as they were exposed to the cool air. Megatron straightened and began to unbutton his shirt, lips curving into a smirk.

Starscream felt himself harden.

 

* * *

 

A kiss of thanks was pressed to the nape of Starscream's sweaty neck. The mattress shifted, and Megatron left the bed. Bare feet padded across the floor and the bathroom door clicked shut.

Starscream lifted his empty head from the pillow. That was his cue to leave.

His neck ached with bruises inflicted by both fingers and teeth, and his thighs were tender where he'd overworked them.

He blinked away sated, blissful drowsiness, realising he couldn't remember where he put his clothes, or where Megatron had thrown his boots, or when exactly he'd lost his gloves? He found a shirt on the floor and already knew it was too big to be his. He pulled it on anyway, not wanting to overstay his welcome or to give Megatron a real good look at what he'd managed to do to his infamously unruly Second in Command.

He had cockily teased Megatron that he might be too much for his old bones.

And Megatron had bitten the shell of his ear and promised that he was well practised in 'taming the wild and the beautiful'.

And one thing Starscream couldn't fault was his leader's stamina.

The shirt smelt like Megatron, an aroma somewhere between the shooting range and depths of his favourite tank, not a particularly pleasant smell to one of sane mind, but it sent a thrill through Starscream's body, warming his blood all over again.

He left his hat and boots, hopping into trousers and fiddling with the belt. He haphazardly tucked the loose shirt tails into the waistband and fled out the door, arms tucked around what little dignity he hadn't thrown at Megatron's feet as he ran to his room.

 

* * *

 

Megatron was disappointed to discover Starscream's swift escape. The night was still young. He'd had no plans to sleep just yet. 

The stupid boy had left half his uniform behind as well, Megatron noted, eyeing the misplaced shirt and boots. He had the image of Starscream running through his halls naked. He'd have to check the security cameras come morning.

Or perhaps not, he realised, turning on the spot in search of his own shirt.

Devious little brat had taken his.

 

* * *

 

  
Starscream looked no less immaculate the next day. Uniform _his_ and all in one piece. Nary a perfectly straight hair out of place. His high collar and cape hid the bites and bruises marring his neck. Megatron regretted the uniform style. He'd have liked to see them again.

Perhaps he could, tonight...

"There is a matter of great urgency I need to discuss with you. Sensitive information," he told Starscream, pausing as he passed the pilot's table in the mess. "I trust you are free to meet me in my quarters this evening?"

Starscream's dark gaze was unreadable. His intimidatingly handsome face twisted into a distasteful sneer, "Is that an order?"

Megatron shifted his weight to his heels, fearing he'd over-read the terms of the previous evening. "No," he eased off, "A request."

"I'll check my schedule," Starscream said coolly, slowly stirring his coffee, "But I'm sure I'll find time. I left something behind after our last... Discussion."

Megatron ignored the heat pooling low in his gut, and nodded curtly before moving off. Only once he was well out of range did he allow himself a smile.

 

* * *

 

  
Starscream got up to leave, wincing with exhaustion, and Megatron caught his wrist.

Their eyes met. _Stay_ , Megatron thought, thumb sliding over Starscream's skin, fingers squeezing. Starscream looked bemused, but didn't say anything, slowly settling himself back onto the bed. Megatron released him to seize the disarrayed bedsheets. He pulled them up to cover their naked, chilling forms.

Starscream dragged a pillow into his arms, hugging it like a child would a stuffed animal, before having the nerve to snort and mutter, "Sap."

Megatron hummed and let his eyes close, soothed by the soft breaths of the man next to him. He'd subtly frisked his second when he'd undressed him this evening. There'd been no smuggled weapons hidden in his clothes or otherwise, though there was a gun in the bedside table next to Megatron, but Starscream couldn't know of it's existence.

And Megatron was sure he would get to it first, should the need arise.

Starscream had earned enough trust to be allowed a night in his bed. After all, sleeping wasn't anywhere near the most vulnerable thing he had done in front of him tonight.

And he wasn't dead yet.

 


	2. The Gym

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just an excuse to get them sweaty and have Starscream stick his hair in a bun...

The base's communal gym was a victim to overcrowding and a blatant lack of hygiene. Starscream was sick of reclining onto sweat slick benches. Disgusting.

Pestering the key for the private gym out of Megaton's stubborn hand hadn't been too difficult; half a days worth of whining might have proved unsuccessful, but three sentences of whispered promises had not.

Keys clinked together as Megatron pressed the cool metal into his palm, stern gaze a clear warning that he wanted them _back_ , and the playful slap to his ass an obvious hint for him to be available tonight. In which case, Starscream elected not to work himself too hard on the equipment today.

Megatron's gym was air conditioned, sterile, and one of few rooms in the base in possession of a window. There were no mirrors, which Starscream found both odd and annoying- he preferred watching himself. There was a mat in the centre of the room. He unslung his towel from around his neck and dumped it on the side along with the rest of his stuff.

The mat was clean, sweat free, and _didn't_ smell like feet. What more could he wish for?

He unsnapped a band from around his wrist and scrapped his hair back. Again, no mirror, but he did the best he could, frowning at the flyaway's as he twisted it all together into a bun atop his head. He didn't have to worry about it looking too messy. At least he was alone.

He placed one leg out in front of him, pulling an impressive stretch, putting pressure on the muscles until he felt the tingle of a burn. He was about to move and do the other leg, when he heard the door thunk.

He looked up, falling clumsily out of his stretch, hands catching against the mat. It was Megatron.

He frantically went to smooth down his hair, blowing a particularly annoying strand out of his face. "What are you doing here?" He demanded.

Megatron wasn't dressed for a gym session. He was in uniform, or at least, most of it. His jacket had been slung off, leaving him in an undervest, his shoulders and arms bare, dog tags sparkling against his chest. Those infamously clunky combat boots of his stomped to a stop at the edge of the mat.

"I was passing by," his leader explained, dark eyes tracking down Starscream's scantily gym clad form. "Thought I'd check up on you."

Starscream became considerably aware of how tight his leggings were. He drew his knees up, scowling. "Came to ogle me, you mean?"

Megatron didn't deny anything. He leant against the half-wall, thick arms folding over his chest, one booted foot planting itself against the plaster. He was here to stay, that was obvious.

Starscream twisted back into form and continued, letting stray hair fall over his eyes as he reached for his toes. He saw Megatron against the wall, and angle of his head tilting. Still checking him out then.

They had been.... doing this 'thing' of theirs for little over a week now. Megatron hadn't known what to think of him at first, clearly anticipating a knife in his gut in the midst of an orgasm. Starscream couldn't say he hadn't thought about it, but even distracted by skin and pleasure his leader was careful. That first time had been rough too, pinned hands and a bruised neck- and it had been everything Starscream had wanted it to be.

But so far everything had been done in the privacy of Megatron's quarters, with an unspoken, but mutual consent. Perhaps he expected the promises for this favour to be cashed in a lot sooner than Starscream had thought.

"Impressive," Megatron announced.

Starscream twisted back to look at him, and knew his leader wasn't complimenting his poise.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch?" He demanded.

Megatron lifted a powerful shoulder in a shrug, "As apposed to...?"

Starscream pushed himself to stand, fists clenched, "You want to get your hands on me? Come on."

Megatron's expression darkened at the challenge.

 

* * *

 

 

He was an idiot, Starscream realised, feet parted, weight balanced, stood not two metres from the six foot four, two hundred and god-knows how many pounds Megatron. He was hand-to-hand combat trained but there was a reason he was a pilot, there was a _reason_ he was trained in long range artillery. He had grown up throwing down with the likes of Skywarp and Thundercracker, but his brothers were.... well they weren't Megatron.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall, he told himself, hoping mostly that Megatron didn't end up falling on top of him.

"Ready?" Megatron asked smugly, shifting his footing. His dog tags swung around his neck. Starscream was going to strangle him with them.

Starscream flexed his shoulders, trying to un-tense them. "Yes." He snapped.

His foot twitched, and Megatron took that as the start, flying across the mat. Starscream almost squealed giddily in surprise, before twisting and throwing as much weight as he could into a kick. His heel slammed into Megatron's side. His leader whuffed, as if winded, but he was all dense hard muscle, and an ache from the impact shot up Starscream's calf.

He hopped back, grimacing, and the fight didn't last long after that.

Megatron could move quickly for such an old bastard, and when Starscream twisted and ducked out of his way, the back of his vest was seized, the loose fabric his downfall. He heard it rip as he was hauled backwards, foot slipping on the plastic. He sent his elbow back, hoping to connect it with the soft flesh of Megatron's stomach, but his wrist was caught next.

He tried to buck the larger man off, but Megatron was heavy. An arm curled around his middle, pulling him flush to the bigger man.

"No," he snarled, trying to twist around, stamping down on Megatron's thick soled boots. "You piece of shhh-"

Megatron twisted his arm behind his back and pressed upwards. Starscream froze on his tiptoes, trying to move with the threatening hold. One sharp movement upwards, and Megatron would break his arm like he was snapping a bird's wing.

"I think I win," Megatron said next to his ear, his stubble pricking against Starscream's cheek. He gave another sharp yank on Starscream's arm, "Don't you?"

Starscream had no idea if he'd do it or not. Megatron was prone to throwing his weight around, even with his own soldiers, and Starscream -always ready to give as good as he got- had been on the receiving end of more than his fair share of shoves and backhands.

But breaking his arm?

"Don't," Starscream gasped, clutching at the arm Megatron had about his middle. "You win. You _win_ , idiot!"

Megatron released his arm, and Starscream yanked it out from behind him, scrambling to get away. Megatron held him tight though, hand fisted in the fabric of his vest.

"Where do you think you're going, boy?" He growled, playful but dangerous, pulling Starscream back against a hard chest full of muscle. Starscream wished he had his gloves, so he could claw his leader's skin away.

Megatron adjusted his hold, and that's when Starscream felt it. Thick, warm, and hard against his backside. Megatron ground against him, driving a bolt of lightening through Starscream's gut.

He was twisted harshly to face Megatron. His leader's skin was flushed pink with excursion, his jaw set. Starscream thought briefly about head butting him.

He'd only concuss himself against Megatron's thick skull.

His leader held him tight, preventing any escape attempt. Megatron's cool belt buckle pressed a stamp into Starscream's stomach were his vest had ridden up.

"You're feisty today." Megatron rumbled, hand fisting in his hair, and tugging till the bun came loose. The locks fell about Starscream's face, messy and rumpled. Megatron was smirking.

"You want to take this back to your room?" Starscream asked, seeing as this was happening regardless. Megatron's heavy cock was pressing against his own with a certain level of insistency.

"I want you here," Megatron tugged on his hair, exposing his neck. Starscream's throat jumped when he was kissed, then bitten. "Get down."

Starscream stayed upright, unsure. This was hardly the place, hardly the time-

He didn't move quickly enough. A boot hooked one of his ankles and he fell, out of Megatron's grasp and onto his ass on the mat with a dull slam. Megatron was upon him in seconds, pressing him deeper into the mat. Starscream's sweat slick skin stuck to plastic unpleasantly. He went to shove his leggings down, but Megatron knocked his hands away, seized the tight fabric, and pulled.

The fabric tore with a loud rip, exposing Starscream lewdly. Starscream snarled, face pinkening, "Those were my _best_ -!"

"Shut up."

He slid across the mat with a squeak, Megatron hauling him up onto his thighs, rough hands pulling at already ripped seams and shoving his vest up around his armpits, exposing his belly.

"This is-" Starscream hissed, trying to squirm away, "So _undignified_ , Megatron!"

Megatron's belt clinked as he undid it, the zip on his combat trousers rasping. The coarse fabric was shoved down just far enough for him to free his erection, an angry flushed colour, framed by dark, greying fuzz. Megatron let the blood heavy curve of it rest against Starscream's thigh.

"Lube?" Was grunted at him.

"Of course not!" Starscream snapped, glancing around frantically. Keys, water bottle, exercise chalk- nothing. He squinted at Megatron's many pockets, praying at least one of them held something other than lose bullets and confiscated cigarettes.

Megatron dug into a back pocket, frowning. He pulled his hand back around, plastic crinkling. "Condom."

"What? What the-" Starscream watched, flummoxed as Megatron opened the foil packet with his teeth. "Why do you have that!? What else are you carrying around?"

Megatron shrugged, already sliding it on. It wasn't generously lubricated, and Starscream's pulse picked up. This may hurt. Megatron slipped two fingers into his mouth, wetting them, before lowering them behind Starscream. A wet, blunt finger pushed at Starscream's entrance. He flinched at the burn.

Megatron withdrew and spat, then smeared his fingers against him.

"Your room is three doors away!" Starscream reached the limit of his disgust, "There's lube _there_ , for God's sake. Would it kill you to think with your goddamn brain instead of cock for once?!"

"This will suffice," Megatron shoved into him again, and spit dried quickly. Starscream grimaced and squirmed. Easy for him to say, he wasn't the one about to get dry-fucked across a gym mat!

Megatron hitched one of his legs up onto his shoulder, opening him, fingers working. It was awkward. Starscream tried to kick him in his stupid head, but Megatron held him firm, head turning to kiss at his ankle, eyes dark with promise.

A small shift, and Starscream could feel him at his entrance. He sucked in a deep breath, legs widening. He winced when it took Megatron three attempts at getting into him, the unfamiliar feel of the condom off-putting.

Megatron tilted his hips, adjusting the angle, watching him closely. He brushed against that spot inside Starscream that turned him liquid, and Starscream moaned thickly, muscles clenching. Megatron took note, holding that angle and driving into him, his dog tags bouncing against his chest.

Starscream seized them, twisting them around his fist and yanking Megatron in. Megatron huffed, letting his leg fall from his shoulder, silver chain cutting into his neck.

Megatron licked his palm and reached for him, hand sliding slickly across Starscream's painfully stiff erection.

Starscream's back was stuck to the plastic of the mat, the cushioned surface made a dull 'thump' sound every time he was driven further into it.

"You'll regret this." Starscream hissed, tightening the chain of the dog tags. Megatron huffed silently, breath wafting across Starscream's forehead. "I should choke you with these- right here!"

Megatron slowed and began thrusting into him with sharp, savage movements. Starscream's head dropped back, his throat opening to release quick, overwhelmed gasps. Megatron smacked his grip away from the dog tags and then pinned his hands above his head with his weight. Megatron laid across him, grinding languidly now. His vest stuck to Starscream's sweat drenched chest, the prickle of untamed hair tickling Starscream's own groin.

Megatron's thumb swiped over his slit, rubbing back and forth, "Come on," he murmured, "I've got a meeting to get to."

"Fuck you and fuck your meeting," Starscream hissed through clenched teeth, now even more determined. He was about to spit out more insults, when Megatron bucked, and nailed that spot inside him with relentless precision.

Starscream sobbed as he came, Megatron lazily stroking him. He felt himself spill over Megatron's hand and across his chest in bursts. He received another unnecessary splattering when Megatron released him and shook his hand out.

"Urgh!" He groaned, turning his head away to stop it getting in his eyes. "You fucking-"

Megatron pulled out before he could finish, whipping the condom off and grunting as he aimed streams of come across Starscream's chest and stomach, hand wringing every last drop out of himself.

When he was done he sat back on his heels, breathing harsh.

Covered in sweat, spit, and _come_ Starscream stared at him in indignant horror.

"It's a good look for you," Megatron explained gruffly, wiping his hand on the mat and moving to put himself away. His belt clinked as he did it up and tucked his under-vest back in. He rubbed a hand over the red line Starscream had cut with his dog tags and smoothed a hand through his hair.

He looked good as new. Starscream didn't even want to know what _he_ looked like.

"I hate you," he whispered furiously.

"You can shower in my quarters." Megatron said, as though he was being generous. He got to his feet, "And I expect this place to be the same pristine condition it was before you used it. As we agreed."

Starscream didn't bother looking at the wet smears and discarded condom. "Yes _sir_." He snarled.

Megatron gave him one last look over, his mouth curving at the corner, before turning and heading for the door. Driven by one sudden insane bout of vengeance and fury, Starscream scrambled for the condom and flicked it with deadly precision after his leader.

It hit him in the back of the head.

Megatron stopped, reaching for it, and turned slowly.

Starscream's leggings were too tattered for him to even run.

 

* * *

 

Megatron let himself into the gym a few days later, knowing he'd find his favourite pilot inside. Starscream hadn't come by his quarters since their last run in, not even to take advantage of premier facilities, and he'd begun to miss him. 

Starscream was predictably on the mat, sweat drenched and panting, loose strands of hair stuck to the back of his slender neck, obviously at the end of his work out.

The boy froze when he spotted him, and Megatron could see the cogs in his clever head turning. He got up quickly, body tight and poised.

"Again?" Starscream demanded, eyes wide and incensed. He rolled a narrow shoulder back, fists clenched at his sides. "C'mon then, you old bastard. I'm ready for you this time."

Megatron doubted that very much. He'd taken Starscream down easily enough the other day. He loosened the collar of his jacket, not even bothering to take it off. He removed his uniform hat, tossing it away and looking aside for just one moment-

Starscream had always been a devious little snake.

Knuckles caught him across the jaw, hard enough to cut the inside of his cheek. His head swung to the side and he tasted blood. Working his tongue around his mouth he knew no teeth had been knocked loose, but still.

He cupped his jaw and spat the blood to the side. Starscream was in front of him, looking like he was ready to do worse.

His mouth curved into a smirk. This was going to be interesting...

And it was. 

Fifteen minutes later Starscream's head was resting against his chest. Megatron ran his hand through the damp locks at the base of the boy's neck. He pressed his nose to the top of Starscream's head.

Starscream shifted, "... I think I broke my hand."

The post-climatic silence shattered. Megatron looked down, searching for Starscream's hand. The knuckles were an angry red from where they'd cut Megatron across the jaw. He lifted them to his mouth and kissed them sympathetically, ignoring the ache of his own face.

"They're fine." He kissed them again, indulgently.

"Well they hurt. What are you made of? Metal?" Starscream wriggled against him, two youthfully bright eyes stared up at him. "...And I won, by the way."

Megatron wanted to laugh at the foolish brat. "When was that exactly? When I had you pinned or when I had you screaming my name?"

Starscream lifted his head, features relaxed out of their usual scowl. He didn't say anything, just leaned in and kissed him, lips soft and warm. He pulled away, and Megatron tried to follow, only for Starscream to stop him with a finger to his lips.

"Just now."

He grinned, and pushed himself upright, slapping Megatron on the chest harshly, "And if you even _think_ of destroying another piece of my wardrobe I'm going to flush every single one of your precious war medals down the toilet."

"What if I really want you?" Megatron folded his arms behind his head.

"Then you take them _off_ like a normal person," Starscream stared, and gestured to his ruined leggings. "You don't tear them apart like a bear trying to get into a carcass."

"Duly noted."

"Is there any point in me trying to use this gym or are you just going to keep assaulting me?" Starscream asked, gathering his discarded vest and pulling it back over his head. It wasn't quite enough to preserve his dignity, what with the torn leggings.

"I will endeavour to do better," Megatron promised, though how Starscream expected him to keep his hands to himself he had no idea. It was difficult enough on the bridge, with the boy fully dressed and half hidden behind hair and hat. How he was supposed to manage with a sweaty, half dressed, flushed-

He caught Starscream by the waistband and tried to pull him back in. "Come here."

"Are you _kidding_ -"

Megatron shook his head, pulling him back into his lap, smoothing his hair away from his handsome face and shoving his hand up the loose vest to molest warm skin.

"You're insatiable," Starscream complained, but he was already making himself comfortable. "Might as well get it out of your system..."

Megatron didn't think Starscream would _ever_ be out of his system. The brat was intoxicating.

He said so, and Starscream's loud cackle resonated about the room.

 


	3. The Nemesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little thank you to virtual_nemesis for the ko-fi support! I hope these two idiots on a boat are sweet enough for you!

The ocean was calm. The sky clear. Sun hot. Boat rocking gently. Perfect weather for sunbathing.

Starscream had removed his hat and swept his hair from his face, head tilted towards the sun, catching what rays he could.

"We had a yacht, you know," he said, eyes closed against a gentle breeze. "And a full crew. Even a chef."

"You're hungry?" Megatron asked, squinting across the deck at him. He had one leg swung over the edge, letting his thick soled boot dip into the swelling water.

"No," Starscream drawled, opening his eyes to glare. "I was making a subtle commentary on how far I have fallen in life."

"You're criticising my boat?" Megatron arched a brow.

Okay yes, the _Nemesis_ was a far cry from a luxury yacht, and though Megatron wasn't an expert, with it's peeling paint and outdated engines, he dated it at about twenty years old. Built sometime in the late sixties. Probably the same age as Starscream.

"I wouldn't really call it a boat." Starscream sneered. "I'm surprised it can float..."

"She's got it where it counts." Megatron patted her indulgently, conveniently disregarding how often his idiot men had crashed her into the reefs surrounding the island. Her hull was a patchwork of welded tears and duct tape, but she hadn't sunk yet.

"It smells like stale oil." Starscream lip curled in distaste. "And Barricade's ass."

"You know what that smells like, do you?" Megatron asked, swinging his legs back onto the deck and stepping up.

"How much longer do we have to be out here?"

"Until the radar system is back up." Megatron lifted his binoculars and scanned the sky for potential enemies. "Check the starboard side."

"I already checked." Came the petulant protest.

"Check again." Megatron felt impatience seep into his tone, wondering for the hundredth time why he'd allowed Starscream to come with him on this mission. "We'd make a poor lookout if we were only checking every half an hour."

"You think I wouldn't be able to hear a plane coming before I fucking saw it?" Starscream argued, clearly in a very bad mood. "We wouldn't be out here if you'd chosen a better base location, instead of a goddamn volcano-"

"The island is _secure_." Megatron said through gritted teeth, lowering his binoculars and turning to glare at him.

"It'd be a whole lot more secure if there wasn't a fucking flag announcing our position."

"Oh, do shut up." Megatron breathed, flicking his walkie-talkie on. "Base. Do you receive, over."

" _Receiving Sir_ ," came Scrapper's voice through the static.

"North West perimeter is clear, over."

" _Confirmed_." The speaker buzzed with static. " _Clear on all fronts, sir."_

"Excellent." Megatron set the walkie-talkie on a ledge for now, turning up the speaker so he could hear it as he walked away.

Starscream took his binoculars from around his neck with a sigh and leant against the railings, pouting. He pulled off his hat and fanned himself with it.

Megatron sympathised. Sweat on the nape of his neck had already drenched his hair line, the sea breeze doing little to lessen the heat of the sun. He undid his shirt.

Starscream glanced at him, then did a double take, frowning, "What are you doing?"

"Cooling off," Megatron explained, and removed his shirt completely, exposing his bare, glistening chest to the summer day. Starscream was staring at him, expression stoic, but pupils blown wide.

Megatron hid his smirk when he bent to unbuckle his trousers. "Fancy a swim?"

"What happened to being a competent lookout?!" Starscream folded his arms across his chest reproachfully. "So it's okay if _you_ slack off, but when _I_ do it-"

"Suit yourself." Megatron shrugged, sitting against the railing as he pulled off his boots, one by one. They thunked to the deck with his shirt, followed by the thwack of his leather belt, the clunk of his gun and holster, the rustle of trousers-

"Why aren't you wearing underwear?!" Starscream sounded stressed.

"It's a hot day." Megatron let himself stand tall, pale skin glowing in the bright sun like marble. Michelangelo's David come to life on a decommissioned stolen military cruiser.

Starscream picked up his binoculars again and very determinately looked the other way.

Unfortunately, whether Starscream consented or not, Megatron had no plans to swim alone.

The binoculars reduced Starscream's peripheral vision so he had no idea what was happening until it was too late. Megatron swept him up, hoisting his feet off the deck.

Starscream swore. Screeched. Fought. Threatened. Clawed at his bare arms.

"Don't you _dare_ \- don't you fucking- no _\- NO_!"

Megatron threw him overboard like a bucket of shark bait. Starscream screamed an obscenity at him, which abruptly cut off when he hit the water with an almighty crash. Megatron laughed, already swinging himself over the railing, into the water after him.

The ocean was cool, just the right sort of relief for this weather. He rose to the surface with a kick, sweeping his hair from his face. Across from him, splashing and choking and looking like a drenched cat, was Starscream.

"What the- the Hell kind of-" he spluttered, struggling to stay aloft with his sodden uniform weighing him down. "Caveman move- you idiot!"

Megatron swam towards him in three easy strokes. Starscream splashed him, red faced and fighting to keep his chin above water. His protests were garbled by the water getting into his mouth. So it was fairly easy for Megatron to drag him in and help him.

"Get rid of this." Megatron began pushing his jacket off his shoulders.

"No!" Starscream cried, too emotionally attached to his uniform to let to sink to the ocean floor. "Help me back to the boat!"

"Starscream-"

"Now!"

He sounded genuinely upset. Megaton conceded, pulling a struggling Starscream behind him and guiding him to the ladder. Starscream was so weighed down with water he almost couldn't pull himself up. Megatron grasped his thighs and pushed.

Starscream kicked water at him, "Idiot!" And climbed back up.

Megatron swam around the hull, watching the drenched boy plod along the deck, shucking uniform as he went. Finally stripped down to sodden, see-through underwear, Starscream flopped sulkily on the edge of the bow. Glaring.

Megatron swam under him, watching as Starscream slipped his legs through the railings and let his feet hang.

He reached up, straining, and the tips of his fingers could just brush the arch of Starscream's left foot. The young man glared down at him. They fell into a silent staring contest.

"Fine!" Starscream suddenly snapped, conceding an argument Megatron hadn't realised they'd even been having.

Underwear not only came off, but was thrown down _at_ him. It's water logged state made it an excellent projectile and it hit Megatron in a face with a wet slap. He pealed them away with a smile, laughing despite himself, and looked up just in time to see a utterly nude Starscream climb atop the railing in a precarious balancing act, and perform the perfect dive into the ocean.

Megatron shook water away from his eyes, smiling as Starscream resurfaced. His long wet hair smoothed back against his head, water drops glistening on his dark eyelashes. Megatron noticed how the sun had already left it's darkened mark across the skin of his nose.

Starscream glided through the water into his arms, their legs brushing at they kicked to stay aloft.

"You ever do this on your yacht?" Megatron asked.

Starscream shook his head, reaching up to smooth Megatron's hair down. "Mother couldn't have us dripping sea water over her deck."

"You can drop whatever you want across _my_ deck," Megatron said, somewhat filthily.

Starscream just rolled his eyes, "If Autobots do attack because we were too busy skinny dipping, what are you going to say?"

"I'll blame it on you." Megatron smiled, and kissed Starscream, tasting the salt of the ocean and sweat.

"You can try." Starscream purred back, his hands beginning to wander below the water line. "You any good at multitasking?"

"Hm?" Megatron thought, "Depends. Swimming and what?"

Starscream's hand found his hip, squeezing. An dark elegant eyebrow arched, "What do you think?"

 

 


	4. Unhappy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case the last chapter wasn't sweet enough, this one has been ram packed with indulgent fluff.

Starscream would have lied about his age and his birthday when he'd joined this cause if he'd known he could have gotten away with it. It would have meant he wouldn't so be frequently talked down to by his own subordinates like he was some punk kid, and he could avoid that whole cakes, presents, and parties crap.

Not that he didn't like attention; he just didn't like sharing.

And sharing your birthday with two other people was a type of Hell only a triplet understood.

"You have to be nice to me, it's my birthday," Thundercracker said seriously the morning of, pausing to blow and cool the tasteless gruel they called breakfast in this place.

"It's _my_ birthday, and I don't have to do anything." Starscream tore into the wrapper of his military issue food substitute bar.

Thundercracker looked at it with disgust, like he hadn't noticed what _he_ was eating. "You know that shit's pure sugar, don't you?"

"Burfday!" Starscream snarled through his mouthful.

"There's gonna be a party tonight, after duty." Thundercracker scrapped around the base of his bowl for the last vestiges of his breakfast. "You're coming, right?"

No, he was not.

"Skywarp's party." Starscream reminded him, and glowered past Thundercracker at his more popular brother on the other side of the Mess, talking and laughing with his gaggle of friends. He already clutched a brightly wrapped gift in his hands, and there looked to be more coming his way as a group of junior pilots entered the room together and called out to him.

" _Our_ party." Thundercracker said firmly. "You should come. Take off your hat, have some drinks, some cake. It'd do you good."

"I don't like cake."

"You're eating a bar of sugar."

"I'm not going." Starscream snapped, scrunching up the wrapper and tossing it as his brother. "I'll be busy tonight anyway. I need to update the patrol routes."

"Megatron will let you have the night off," Thundercracker smirked, "He knows it's your birthday."

"I told him it wasn't," Starscream shrugged.

Thundercracker stared at him blankly, like he couldn't decide if he was just being stupid or had somehow managed to trick their level-headed, sensible leader into the worst lie imaginable.

"Well...We're triplets. If it's mine and Warp's birthday, then he's gonna know it's-"

"I told him I was older," Starscream rolled his eyes, "Five minutes before midnight. As far as he knows, my birthday was yesterday."

Thundercracker didn't look impressed, "And he believed you?"

"Of course he believed me. He believes everything I say."

"Then you should stop lying to him," Thundercracker said softly, looking down at his empty bowl. "He really likes you..."

Trust Thundercracker turn this sappy.

He grimaced, "Urgh, now I feel sick."

"It's the sugar," His brother dropped his spoon back into the bowl with a loud clatter before picking it up and standing. "Come to the party or sit in your room all night miserable, I don't care. I'm not going to ruin my birthday worrying about you again."

Starscream watched him join Skywarp and his friends, and sulked.

 

* * *

 

Starscream was only in Megatron's quarters that night because he knew they'd be empty, and his own room was a mess.

And the bath. He wanted a bath.

There was something inherently miserable about sitting motionless in a porcelain tub, staring at the wall whilst his fingers pruned and the water cooled. Deep within the base the noise of the party reached him even here, Soundwave's speakers vibrated the floors and walls, and every other moment someone screamed or laughed or cheered. He wondered if Skywarp had invited the entire faction?

Out in the bedroom he heard the door chime and open. Surprised, he sat up, water splashing. The rhythm of the heavy boot-steps were Megatron's staccato. He shouldn't be back so soon.

A sharp knock sounded against the wood of the bathroom door before it swung open without leave. Megatron appeared around it, looking somehow bigger and more imposing in the full formal uniform he was wearing. It was uncharacteristically clean and pressed, nary an oil stain or mud smear in sight. His eyes were hidden by the rim of his hat, his mouth set in an unhappy downturn.

Starscream might have even been intimidated had Megatron not been holding a piece of cake on a paper balloon-patterned party plate. 

Starscream drew his knees up to his chest self-consciously, dropping his chin to them.

"I brought you cake." Megatron extended the paper plate.

"I don't like cake." Starscream said argumentatively.

"Chocolate and vanilla." Megatron placed it on the edge of the tub. "Your favourite."

It was his favourite. Starscream felt his eyes burn as he looked at it. The slice even had a chocolate decoration on it. He didn't know how Megatron could have known what his cake-preferences were, or why he'd care enough about them to bring him some.

With a heavy sigh, Megatron whipped his hat off. Starscream could see now that he looked tired, the lines under his eyes and across his forehead entrenched deeper where he'd been frowning.

"I know it's your birthday." He said, tugging at the finger tips of his black leather gloves to remove them. He didn't sound irritated by the lie, merely resigned.

And that usually spelled greater trouble.

"So what?" Starscream didn't meet his eyes.

"So indeed. I'm not inclined to believe such a spoilt brat could be as old twenty six."

"I don't want to talk about it." Starscream muttered into his knees.

"Are you having a midlife crisis?" Megatron asked with some disbelief.

He didn't like his birthday whatever age he was turning, so Starscream didn't want to label this as that. But twenty six was closer to thirty than it was twenty, and-

And-

"I found a grey hair," he whispered miserably.

Megatron dropped to his knees beside the tub, a big hand pulling at his collar and tie to loosen them, exposing more of his pale throat, and the long scar at the base of it- the one Starscream had put there himself, long ago.

"Was it one of mine?" Megatron asked seriously.

Starscream splashed the water at him, darkening Megatron's grey jacket. He knew Megatron would treat it like a joke. He shouldn't have bothered saying anything. He should have just- just-

Megatron stood up, and Starscream thought he was just going to leave him, seek better company. Maybe even join the party downstairs. But he went to the towel rack instead, returning with one unfolded.

"Get out of the tub," he ordered, nodding, "Before I haul you out myself."

"You'll ruin your jacket." Starscream protested, because it was expensive, premium fabric. The very finest. Starscream had one of his own made from the same material. He'd never even wear his outside for fear of tropical storms. "It's dry clean only."

"Then you'd better get out."

Starscream gripped the side of the tub and did, wet skin instantly chilling in the cool air. Megatron came forward with the towel, wrapping it tightly around his body and arms like he was trying to ensnare him in a burrito. Starscream scowled when Megatron's arm curled around his back and hoisted him out like he was an old cripple, or an incapable child.

When his feet were back on the cold tile he shrugged Megatron's hands off him, extracting his arms and readjusting the towel as he strode back into the bedroom.

The lava feature wall was the only light on, so the entire room was cast in an ominous red glow. He heard Megatron's boots following him, but ignored him as he went to sit on the bed, and sulk in it's warmer sheets.

Another towel landed on his head and obscured his vision.

"I'm not an invalid!" He snarled, trying to smack Megatron away.

Megatron rubbed the towel over his wet hair anyway, digging his fingers in roughy, Starscream winced, knowing his hair was going to be frizzy for days. The towel drew away, and Megatron was in front of him, peering at the top of his head.

"I don't see any greys."

"You need your eyesight checked."

"Perhaps," Megatron tossed the towel aside and the mattress dipped as he sat down. "But I don't need glasses to see how handsome you are."

Starscream felt his throat constrict at such a flippant compliment. "Have you been drinking?"

"Oh, I wish," Megatron sighed, leaning forwards to reach into his jacket pocket. Starscream watched curiously as he drew out a black leather box, and extended it to him. "This is for you."

"A birthday present?" Starscream sneered, but snatched it away anyway, flipping the lid, "Your taste in jewellery is hardly-"

A pair of dog-tags stared up at him, Megatron's name clearly indented into the tarnished metal. They were scratched and slightly bent, looped through with a plain silver chain. He brushed his fingers over them, uncomprehending, "-What..?"

Megatron cleared his throat gruffly, removing an envelope from his inside pocket. He worried at the corners before passing that over too. Starscream tore into it.

A simple note.

_Since you already hold my life in your hands..._

"I planned on surprising you," Megatron admitted when Starscream didn't say anything. "Dinner. Wine. But something about you lying implied you weren't keen on the idea of celebrating tonight as your birthday."

The box in Starscream's hand was shaking- because his hand was shaking. Megatron took it, squeezed it.

"When the dreaded day arrives that your hair _does_ turn grey, I'd like to be there to witness that melodrama as well."

Starscream snorted, yanking his hand away, fighting to keep his frown in place with all the butterflies exploding in his stomach. "This isn't even a real birthday gift. Hand-me-down dog-tags are not going to cut it."

"Yes," Megatron nodded, reaching into his pocket again, "I thought you'd say that..."

He pulled out a ring box, and all Starscream saw were _diamonds_. 

 

 


	5. Sick Day

Starscream was prone to melodrama so it was weird he didn't take more sick days actually.

At least, that's what Skywarp thought.

He didn't know how he'd drawn the short straw and had to 'check up' on his brother during his off-shift. He'd much rather be in the Rec, destroying Rumble and Frenzy on the gaming console. And really, if Starscream wasn't sick enough for medbay, then he wasn't sick enough to warrant being 'checked up on'.

Skywarp begrudgingly picked up a serving of chicken soup from the Mess regardless -like Thundercracker always did for him- and kicked the bottom of Starscream's door when he arrived.

There was no answer. For a split second Skywarp worried his brother might have _died_ in there or something, and if he was going to get in trouble for not coming over sooner. Then logic kicked in. He juggled the polystyrene container of chicken soup as he dug into his pocket for his phone.

_Where's Screamer?_

Thundercracker responded pretty quickly. _His room._

 _Nope_.

He had to wait a while for the next text.

_Try Megatron's quarters._

Skywarp tucked his phone back into his pocket, parts both apprehensive and curious. Starscream did have a tendency of inflicting his company on unwilling parties when he was at his most disgusting and infectious. He'd done it to him and TC when they were kids all the time. Of course Megatron could get the same treatment.

When he reached Megatron's quarters he wasn't brave enough to just kick the door. He knocked, gently, politely. And waited.

It opened and he veered away, grimacing at the sight of his brother.

Starscream was cocooned almost entirely in what appeared to be bedsheets, which were silk and a deep sexy red colour - _oh, gross_. The only visible part of him was his head from the nose up. He was pale, looked a little sweaty, nose an angry red, and hair greasy.

"Wow," Skywarp whispered, and extended the soup. "You don't look so good."

A hand slithered out from beneath the sheets and took the chicken soup with a croak of, "Shut up, Skywarp."

"No need to thank me." Skywarp muttered, curiously peering past his brother into the mysterious room his leader resided in. An enigma of a space that only Starscream, out of all the Decepticons, had ever had leave to explore.

Beating Rumble and Frenzy could wait. He was getting into that room if it killed him.

"You need me to stay right? To keep you company?"

"I was going to sleep," Starscream's eyes narrowed, he began to close the door. "I've taken NyQuil."

Skywarp slipped in easily, smile bright and charming, "No that's okay. You're my brother. It's my job to look out for you."

Three words. Lava. Feature. Wall.

He stared appreciatively. "How does _that_ work?"

"Skywarp," Starscream sounded angry but clearly didn't have the capacity to scream at him. "I don't want-"

Skywarp ignored him, seizing his diseased brother's sheet clad shoulders and steering him towards the biggest bed Skywarp had ever seen. With an oak headboard and faux fur throws and so many pillows and- Skywarp thought about how sometimes he and TC would shove their three quarter sized beds together and top and tail, just to give their arms some spreading space, and was inconsolably jealous.

He pushed Starscream to sit on the bed, taking the soup out of his hands and setting it on the bedside table, grimacing at the mountain of used tissues.

"I'll get you a drink," he said to his brother's glaring face. Starscream sniffed angrily. "And some tissues. Bathroom this way?"

He didn't wait for a response, already throwing open the door to what he had rightfully suspected was the bathroom. It was a good size. Had a shower and a bathtub?! A _bathtub_!! On a military base? He took a glass from one of the shelves and filled it up, sneakily peering into one of the cabinets.

His brother had certainly made his mark. Skywarp doubted that the anti-frizz hair serums belonged to their leader. He opened another cabinet, and it had a tube of toothpaste, two toothbrushes, floss, and a gun in it. Skywarp shrugged. Well, _that_ at least, he knew was Megatron's. He let the cabinets shut and snatched a box of tissues off the side, making his way back into the bedroom.

Starscream had reclined across the bed now, eyes closed. Skywarp set everything on the side quietly so not to wake him.

The room was an odd sort of sparse, it's owner clearly not one for frivolous possessions. This theme was clearly undercut by how much time his brother spent here. There were stacks of Starscream's paperwork by the dresser, and his brother's clothes riddled the floor, his hat hung off a bedpost, and his infamously clawed gloves were on the floor beside it.

Skywarp bent to pick them up, and then the other scattered garments, wondering how Starscream could say he cared so much about clothes when he treated them so poorly. He tossed the uniform down the laundry chute out in the corridor.

Back in the room Starscream had begun snoring -one of many curses of being so dreadfully flu infested. Skywarp straightened the covers around him and plumped up a couple pillows before taking a seat on the edge of the mattress, watching the rise and fall of Starscream's lean chest.

He glanced around the marginally tidier room, twiddling his thumbs. He wasn't used to sitting still for so long, but he didn't want to wake his brother.

He glanced at the bedside table next to him.

He knew he shouldn't. He knew he would regret it.

He checked to see if Starscream was still asleep, and then slowly pulled the draw open. The wood groaned, but not loud enough to wake his brother. He peered in.

There was lube - _ugh_ \- a couple of crumpled flight registers, a nail file, an issue of Italian Vogue, much more random paraphernalia, and a small black leather box with gold trim.

Skywarp opened it. Inside were a pair of worn dog tags, set up like a necklace someone would gift to a woman. There was a note wedged into the lid. Skywarp picked it out, opening it. It was Megatron's blocky handwriting, ' _Since you already hold my life in your hands...'._

They were Megatron's old dog tags. Skywarp shoved the note back and let the lid snap shut, exhaling heavily. That sounded... that sounded like they were pretty serious.

He shut the draw again. The bang of wood roused Starscream. He stirred, frowning, "Warp?"

Starscream _never_ called him 'Warp'. He must be pretty out of it. "Yeah, it's me."

"You're so annoying," Starscream sighed, eyes fluttering shut.

Skywarp thought he could be more annoying. He wondered how much that NyQuil he'd chugged had loosened his tongue.

"Hey, do you love Megatron?"

"Yes," Starscream groaned, rolling away from him, "Shut up."

Skywarp grinned, "How much?" He pestered, pulling on the sheets a little to stop Starscream from falling back to sleep, "More than flying?"

Starscream hummed an affirmative, drunkenly mumbling, "More."

Skywarp's grin widened, "Do you love him more than high heels?!"

"Yes," Starscream whined tiredly, "Warp, lemme sleep."

Skywarp wondered if he should take out his camcorder and record this. But then it might fall into the wrong hands, and then into Megatron's hands. His leader wouldn't take kindly to what was apparently the Love Of His Life being publicly humiliated like that.

He adjusted the sheets, pulling them up over Starscream's exposed shoulder, "He loves you, you know." He told his brother.

Starscream turned a little, bleary eyes hopeful, "Huh?"

"He told me," Skywarp dropped his voice into a conspiratorial whisper, "Said he loved you almost as much as he loves that big gun he hauls around."

"Yeah," Starscream blinked slowly, falling asleep again, "He told me too..."

"Don't forget your soup," Skywarp told him, fighting back a smile as he stood. "I'll see you later, maybe."

He didn't expect a response. Starscream was snoring again by the time Skywarp reached the door. He cast his brother one last wistful look, wondering if he would ever have something like that, before letting the lock click shut.

Oh well, single people had more time to play on game consoles.

 

 


	6. Blowjob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I've posted this somewhere before but I can't find it anywhere so maybe it was my imagination. Anyway, this chapter is tilted 'Blowjob' and it's exactly what it says on the tin.

It wasn't wise to keep score in any relationship; romantic or otherwise. But Starscream just wasn't the sort to let an imbalance lie.

He'd learned quickly that Megatron was sexually proactive for his age- for any age really, and he often wondered if _all_ men Megatron's age chased ass so energetically. Starscream hadn't had so much sex since college- even after Skyfire, when he'd been sleeping with half the campus's population on the rebound.

He lifted his head from Megatron's lap, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and inhaling deeply to catch his breath.

"A little reciprocation wouldn't be amiss, you know."

Megatron- who hadn't even been _paying attention_ \- lifted his arm from over his eyes. He blinked hazily like he'd been about to fall asleep; then again, he usually did after this. Starscream didn't know whether to put it down to his aforementioned advanced age, the lateness of the hour, or his own technique. But there wasn't anything particularly soporific about getting a blow job.

"You stopped..." Megatron realised after a vacant stare.

Starscream rolled his eyes, languidly stroking Megatron's spit slick erection to keep it stimulated.

"Reciprocation?" He pressed.

"Hmm." Megatron groaned. "Afterwards..."

"You'll fall asleep." Starscream arched a brow.

"You can wake me up," Megatron breathed, eyes fluttering closed again.

Starscream took his hand off Megatron completely and sat back, knowing that was the only way he would get him to pay attention.

"Starscream..." Megatron complained, head thumping on the pillow.

"I don't want your lazy, half-arsed attempts after you've already had your fill." Starscream folded his arms and sat back on his heels. "I've given you, what, four this week? I want to cash in."

Megatron frowned like he was trying to recall them. "It's only Tuesday-"

"Exactly."

Megatron began sitting up with a long series of groans and sighs and mumbled complaints. His hair was mused at the back where he'd been rolling his head against the pillow. His glare was somewhat diminished because of it.

"Cruel of you to wait till now to voice this complaint," Megatron himself complained, hooking his index finger into the waist band of Starscream's trousers, rough knuckles brushing the smooth shaved skin below his navel. He reeled him in, and Starscream came gladly, letting Megatron pull him into his lap.

They kissed as hands undid his buckle, button, then zip. Fabric was roughly pushed down and a warm palm slid against his heated skin. He pushed against the touch, mouth pausing against Megatron's with a hitch of breath.

Megatron removed himself from Starscream's underwear and the kiss. Starscream watched him lick his hand from palm to finger and slip it down his front again. The slickness was welcome, easier on Starscream's sensitive skin than callouses. Megatron fondled him briefly before finally taking him out of the confines of his clothing.

"You're stalling," Starscream accused him, dragging his fingers through Megatron's hair, letting his nails scrape his scalp.

"I'm savouring," Megatron corrected, a thumb sliding over the slit of Starscream's erection. The wetness of pre-cum smeared over the spongey head. Starscream whined.

"Alright," Megatron breathed, ducking and shoving his head under his chin.

Starscream felt himself leaning backwards as Megatron moved down, one big hand on the small of his back keeping him from overbalancing. Megatron's mouth opened over his left pec, teeth grazing his nipple as he lavished it with attention. Starscream let his head drop back with a sigh. Megatron moved to give the other the same treatment, leaving them peaked and cooling with saliva.

"Taking your time," Starscream commented softly, but it wasn't a complaint. Not really.

Megatron moved downwards, dark eyes flicking upwards to meet his gaze briefly as he pressed open mouthed kisses to each of his ribs, down the convex swell of his belly, tongue darting out to swirl over his naval.

Megatron only touched his erection to adjust it to lie against his hip, making room for him to slip between Starscream's open thighs without distraction. Megatron kissed the silky skin of his inner thigh and Starscream felt his smirk as he moved away, down the leg towards his knee.

"I'll kick you," Starscream lifted his head just enough to glare, wriggling his leg to get Megatron off.

"I like to make a show of it." Megatron explained, and Starscream felt his breath against his erection as moved up. He felt himself stir. The urge to reach down and grab Megatron's head was growing.

"I'm going to finish before you start at this rate."

"You always seem to finish before I start," he heard Megatron grumble.

Starscream shot upright, "What's that supposed-!"

A hand of his chest pushed him down, Megatron's mischievous expression just visible down the length of his body. The fight left him when warm humid air washed over his groin. Skin met skin as Megatron nuzzled at the base of his cock indulgently, his facial hair coarse and scratchy against perfectly hairless skin.

Starscream shifted onto his forearm for a better view, watching Megatron's mouth open against the shaft just to breathe over it.

"Megatron..." he whined, thinking if he didn't get relief soon-

He moaned thickly when finally, finally, a mouth latched onto his tip. His eyes fluttered closed as a tongue prodded at the slit of his erection, swirled over the head, then stroked along the underside.

Starscream let his hand drift to Megatron's hair, petting him praisingly. He watched with hooded eyes at hollowed cheeks and wet lips stretching around him. He felt bigger like this, in more ways than one.

Megatron swallowed, then sank down. Starscream felt him hesitate briefly, and kept still until the tension left Megatron's body. He allowed himself a little hip roll, smirking dreamily at the glare Megatron flashed him.

"Oh, you do it to me." He reminded him.

Megatron hummed around him, like a protest. A lame one likely. But he didn't pull away. Refocusing on his task, he let his mouth do the rest of the work, taking control from Starscream by pinning his hips flat and settling his weight over his legs.

He tried to squirm, half fight, half delight as Megatron began bobbing his head, shifting the angle every time he withdrew till just the head was inside, ensuring he ran his tongue over every inch of Starscream. 

"Faster," he mumbled, not so bothered about depth as he was stimulation.

Megatron suckled lightly on the tip. Starscream moaned, toes curling where they brushed Megatron's hips. A hand gripped what hadn't been taken into his mouth and worked the shaft, the skin sopping wet from the earlier deep throating.

"I- I have to come," Starscream mumbled in warning, cock twitching in the heat of Megatron's mouth.

A warm hum was his only answer. Megatron remained where he was, tongue sweeping over his slit hungrily, so eager for him to finish. That more than anything sent Starscream over. He felt his muscles clench, cock jumping as it jetted cum.

"Oh," Starscream breathed weakly, hand twisting into a claw against Megatron head, hips jumping with every spurt and accompanying spike of pleasure. "Oh..."

Megatron mouth became all the hotter and wetter for him having finished in it. He felt Megatron's tongue sweep over him one last time before he pulled off his over-sensitive cock with a wet pop.

He let himself blink lazily, the mattress dipping as Megatron began crawling back over him on all fours until they were chest to chest. Megatron inclined his head for a kiss.

Starscream parted his lips for Megatron's tongue, consenting to deepen the kiss- only for his mouth to suddenly flood with bitter, tacky cum.

"Hmmph!" He cried, trapped in the kiss as Megatron forced his tongue into his mouth, and all that was coated on it. He slapped Megatron's shoulders until the fiend drew back, laughing, wiping his mouth on his forearm.

"Will. You. _Stop_. _Doing that_!!" Starscream snarled, pink faced, punctuating the words with harsh slaps. "You're disgusting-!"

"I think you taste nice."

"Then swallow it for once! Or spit it out. I don't care as long as it doesn't end up in _my_ mouth. What is wrong with you?!" 

"You're just fussy."

"You have to ruin everything," Starscream snapped, wondering why they couldn't just cuddle like normal couples. What did Megatron have against just letting him savour his post-climatic bliss.

An insistent mouth nibbled at his sweaty neck. Megatron's very prominent untended erection swaying between their bodies.

"I believe you said something about reciprocation?" Megatron said against his throat.

Starscream sighed. It was nice whilst it had lasted. 

 


	7. Jet Fuel Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Megatron and Starscream act like teenagers. Soundwave and Shockwave don't get paid enough for any of this.

The problem with bathtub brewed alcohol was that it very likely contained just as much jet fuel as it did actual vodka. That was the rumour, at least. Megatron's justification for having drunk so much of the vile stuff was that he'd had a long week, and he could stomach it.

Starscream's justification for having drunk so much was his self-proclamation that he could drink anyone under the table, and took Megatron's indulgence as a personal challenge.

And now they were stumbling through the halls of the base, Megatron struggling to keep them upright for the short walk back to quarters as Starscream's behaviour varied from laughing stupidly, to clutching at his shoulder and panic screeching that he was going to "Puke".

He didn't, thankfully. Not just yet at least.

Megatron headed for Starscream's room anyway. It was closer, and messy enough that maybe it wouldn't matter if Starscream emptied the contents of his stomach all over the carpet. At least, in Megatron's vodka drenched brain it wouldn't. Better Starscream's carpet than his.

They only needed the room (and it's bed) to pass-out and fuck on- not necessarily in that order. So what would it matter if the bed was unmade and someone vomited on the floor?

Megatron entered the code and shouldered open the door, stumbling over his own feet as his drunken lover twisted and pressed against his side, collar and hair rumpled, breath enriched with alcohol.

"You should fuck me," Starscream whispered with a sly giggle, like he was suggesting something _naughty_. "You should- should just fuck me now."

He would, Megatron thought with a dark sense of pride, he was going to fuck Starscream.

They stumbled and knocked into things and Starscream's laughter was light and loud and carefree in his inebriated state. He couldn't quite figure out the buttons of Megatron's uniform jacket though, and started to tug harshly in frustration.

Megatron brushed aside his useless attempts at undressing him. He only needed one part of his body exposed for this.

He unbuckled his belt, undid his fly, shoving the waistband down just far enough to hang out of it.

Starscream gave him an appreciatively sultry look, already wriggling his way out of his trousers. He hadn't taken his ridiculous boots off though, so underwear and uniform ended up bunched up around his ankles. Red faced, Starscream struggled to kick his legs free.

"Leave them," Megatron snatched Starscream by the collar and pushed him towards the unmade bed.

Legs tangled together ridiculously, Starscream tipped backwards onto it, hair falling over his face. He threw his head back, laughing as if it was the funniest thing.

Megatron descended on him, pushing Starscream's rumbled shirt up to kiss at his smooth flat stomach, appreciate every single one of those lean abdominal muscles. Starscream's hands found his hair and mused it, his nails dragged across his scalp.

"You're so drunk," Starscream whispered, smiling down at him, "Told you- you couldn't handle your liquor."

Megatron just hummed in agreement and kissed low on Starscream's belly, and lower still. Starscream whined, already stiffening with anticipation. Megatron put him out of his misery, licking the underside of his erection before taking it into his mouth.

Starscream purred above him. Megatron felt his thigh muscles tighten under his hands as he bobbed his head, relaxing his throat and taking the entire length. A blinding grin flashed across Starscream mouth as he gasped.

"Megatron~"

He sounded like he was about to come. Megatron released him, breathing raggedly, "I know, I know-"

Starscream sat up as Megatron lifted his head and they met somewhere in between. Starscream tasted like whatever fruity cocktail he'd been mixing his alcohol with, sugary but stale. Megatron kept kissing him anyway, because Starscream's hands had gone down his front and found his own erection.

Megatron reached for Starscream to return the favour, and they found their orgasms in each others fists soon after, one after the other, a damp spot growing on the shirt over Megatron's belly as they kissed sloppily on Starscream's messy bed clothes.

"You smell bad..." Starscream mumbled at some point between then and sleep, flushed face shoved under Megatron's left arm.

"Hng," Megatron agreed.

 

* * *

 

Someone retched, and Megatron sat up, head swimming.

For a moment he thought it'd been him. There was a godawful taste in his mouth and the stench of a nights drinking permeated the air. And himself.

The retching sounded again, from behind the shut door of Starscream's closet.

Snippets of the night came back to him, and he rolled out of the bed, thanking God that he had been intelligent enough not to bring Starscream back to his room so the brat could vomit over his belongings.

He pushed open the closet door, and there on the floor was Starscream, hidden somewhere behind a mess of hair and the trashcan he was hugging to his chest.

"Oh fuck," Starscream moaned, eyes closed and head lolling, "Go away."

Megatron gripped the closet frame to lean down, nearly overbalancing as he clumsily pushed Starscream's hair back. His forehead was slick and hair damp with not just sweat. Megatron fought back his disgust, his own gut turning disagreeably.

"You need to go to the medbay," Megatron realised, futilely attempting to tuck Starscream's loose hair behind his ears, trying to save it from further disaster.

"I need you -to _fuck off_ ," Starscream mumbled, and he was indeed a miserable sight, struggling to keep his head upright. "Fuckin' go.."

A sober Megatron could pick this unruly drunken brat up and haul him down to medbay no problem. A drunk Megatron was more likely to drop him several times. Likely even be sick himself.

His swimming head certainly wanted him to.

Starscream began moaning wordlessly at the ceiling.

Megatron was too incapacitated to deal with this situation. He'd need to call someone who wasn't.

 

* * *

 

Soundwave woke with considerable alarm when the phone next to him burst into song. In the short time it took Soundwave to locate the phone next to his mask on his bedside table the invasive music also woke Shockwave.

Megatron didn't explain the problem, but the grumbled gibberish allowed Soundwave to draw his own quick conclusion. They were drunk. Starscream was suffering from the adverse  affects of such a thing. And Megatron was being useless.

Soundwave put his mask back into place before climbing out of the bed.

Shockwave followed suit. "Will the addition of my prosthetic be necessary?"

Soundwave paused, assessing Shockwave's build and strength capacities and comparing them against his memorised knowledge of the Second In Command's stats, or more specifically, his weight. Soundwave had seen Shockwave haul bags of sugar heavier. One arm would be sufficient enough to handle Starscream and time was of the essence. He shook his head.

 

* * *

 

Megatron remembered sitting on the floor, back against the harsh edge of the closet, one hand on Starscream's sweat drenched forehead to stop it from flopping listlessly forwards. When next he opened his eyes, Starscream wasn't beside him.

His stomach lurched violently, in a way that had nothing to do with the alcohol filling it.

Starscream groaned, and Megatron realised he wasn't gone, just presently being hefted over Shockwave's shoulder. The scientist said nothing, striding off with his mumbling quarry.

Megatron thought perhaps he should follow...

Long legs appeared in front of him. He looked up, eyes straining, into the blank screen of Soundwave's mask. Two little symbols appeared on it. :(

"Oh, shut up Soundwave," he grunted.

The screen changed. >:(

 

* * *

 

Shockwave had the privilege of watching the medics pump Starscream's stomach, and had to admit, he was impressed. Someone of Starscream's size and stature should have succumbed to the alcohol poisoning with the extent he had consumed. That he had managed to last so long into the night was commendable.

Or would have been commendable, had his affliction not been self-inflicted.

Shockwave had a sample of the clear alcohol his superiors had been drinking with him now, the medics having queried just what _was_ in it other than alcohol- and the base rumours had been startlingly correct; jet fuel.

So to prevent the untimely deaths of their two most superior officers, Soundwave had called in the muscle. At nearing five o'clock in the morning, Tarn, Motormaster, and Astrotrain had all squeezed themselves into the cramped medbay to suffer the honourable task of having to pin down a drunk but still considerably formidable Megatron, long enough for him to have his stomach pumped too.

Shockwave would have helped with the mammoth task, but he was currently occupied.

"Can you see through the eyepatch?" Starscream asked quietly, pale faced and sickly as he stared up at Shockwave from beneath starch white bedsheets. He had an IV in his arm. Which he kept picking at.

"No," Shockwave reassured, struggling to brush Starscream's hands away from the needle and flash a torch in his eyes all at once with just the one hand available. "There is no eye to see with."

"Can I see the empty hole? Is it gross?"

Shockwave decided not to be offended, more irritated with how Starscream kept turning his head away from the torch. "No. Comply with the examination."

"I don't trust you with my _eyes_!" Starscream frowned, squeezing them childishly shut, "You only have one."

Somewhere beyond the privacy curtain surrounding Starscream's bed there was a crash, clatter, scream, and then Tarn's baritone bellowing.

Another smash...

Shockwave pulled the curtain aside just enough to be sure Soundwave hadn't been involved in any of Megatron's collateral damage. He hadn't, he was stood apart, watching. His mask turned when he noticed Shockwave, a 'thumbs up' appeared on it.

Shockwave turned back to find Starscream shining the torch in his own eyes. He decided it would be more prudent to just let him.

"Fortunately the damage done to your digestive tract was minimal, you'll need to take these," he pulled out a bottle of pills from his lab-coat pocket, and shook them. "To repair the lining of your stomach. Please refrain from ingesting jet fuel in future."

Starscream reached to take the pill bottle, but Shockwave understood drunk men were much like children, and children were not to be trusted with prescription medicine. He slipped the bottle back into his lab-coat.

"I will be withholding them until you are in a more coherent state."

Starscream huffed loudly, arms crossed, "Where's Megatron?"

There was another crash beyond the curtain. Glass breaking.

"Our superior is undergoing his own treatment."

Motormaster started screaming for backup.

 

 


	8. The Jeep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This silly snippet is set not long after the first chapter, before Starscream and Megatron's relationship was out in the open.

Thundercracker didn't much appreciate the annual survival training every Decepticon had to complete. One of many reasons being that he was always placed in Group A with the rest of high command, away from Skyquake, and shoved into closer proximity to Starscream than he had been in for nearly twenty years.

And for good reason.

Staring up at the ageing, discoloured tent above him, sardined between his two identical brothers, Thundercracker tried to ignore the discomfort of his situation. Sleeping arrangements were three to a tent, allocated alphabetically. As he, Starscream, and Skywarp all shared the same last name, it was always an inevitability that they'd be together.

Which wouldn't have been a problem- because at least he could trust his brothers not to steal his underwear or attack him in the middle of the night (most of the time)- except this was only a three man military tent, cramped at the best of times, and despite his slender figure, Starscream somehow took up enough space for a man Astrotrain's size.

It was alright for Skywarp, he liked being cramped. Thundercracker had had to fight him off when he'd tried to get into his sleeping bag with him. They weren't six anymore. They were grown men. And he was not cuddling with Skywarp!

Thundercracker was just beginning to drift off when he heard the crunch of footsteps outside, passing close by the tent. He ignored it. Probably someone off to find a tree to piss on.

The footsteps didn't retreat though. They paused outside the tent. Thundercracker listened carefully, suddenly alerted to the prospect that Starscream's presence might make their tent a target for resentful underlings.

Beside him Starscream stirred, not as asleep as Thundercracker had thought he was.

Thundercracker shut his eyes and feigned sleep when his brother sat up; his movements slow and careful so not to make noise. He was up to something.

Thundercracker watched though his lashes as Starscream rolled towards the tent entrance. The sleeping bags rustled as Starscream pulled on a pair of boots.

The tent zip rasped as he lifted it slowly, and crawled out of the opening.

Outside, Thundercracker could hear his brother whispering. He couldn't make out what he was saying. Then another voice answered, a low rumble. Deep. Rich. Unmistakably Megatron.

Thundercracker sat bolt upright as crunching footsteps moved away. Skywarp mumbled a sleepy protest but didn't rouse.

Suspicious, worried, Thundercracker crept towards the tent opening Starscream hadn't bothered to close. It was freezing outside of his insulated sleeping bag and his breath fogged in the night air. Starscream hadn't even bothered with a jacket.

He stuck his head out, unable to hear their distant footsteps or hushed whispering over the crackle of the smouldering fire or the chirp of late night insects. He wondered if they'd snuck off into the deeper jungle? What if Megatron was going use the opportunity of the survival training to kill Starscream, hide the body, and claim it as an accident to dump the paperwork all on Soundwave?

He was just about to turn back into the tent to reach for his own boots when the creak of an old jeep door drew his attention. The jeep's automatic interior lights lit up like a beacon across the campsite. Thundercracker watched the shadowy but distinct forms of his brother and leader climb up.

Into the backseat.

The door shut with a creak and slam. The interior light went out and they disappeared into the darkness. Thundercracker squinted, wondering through his sleep muddled head what they could possibly be doing in the vehicle in the middle of the night. The engine didn't start, so they weren't driving it back to base.

The frame of the jeep began to rock on it's suspension.

It kept rocking. _Rhythmically_.

If Thundercracker didn't know any better, he would have thought-

Even through the darkness he could see the fog of condensation on the jeep's windows as it heated up inside. In more ways than one.

Disgusted and horrified beyond belief, Thundercracker tore the zip down on the tent and crawled back into his sleeping bag.

"Wuz goinon?" Skywarp mumbled in the darkness.

"Nothing," Thundercracker grumbled, tucking his face back into the sleeping bag to warm up his chin and nose. "Go to sleep."

Skywarp was heavy mouth-breathing again within seconds. Thundercracker felt too angry to join him in sleep. Starscream would be coming back eventually anyway, and would only wake him up again.

But It took a long time for Starscream to return.

So long that Thundercracker began to doubt himself. Maybe they'd just wanted a quiet place to argue? Maybe they'd been fighting? Throttling one another across the backseat?

In the distance he heard the door of the jeep snap shut again, and a laugh that cut off sharply- the beginnings of Starscream's obnoxious cackle...

Thundercracker went right back to feeling angry and revolted.

Crunching footsteps. Murmuring voices. They paused right outside the tent, and then Thundercracker heard the telltale smack of lips on lips.

He pulled the sleeping bag up around his ears. Hadn't they done enough of that in the jeep?!

"-brothers?" He heard Megatron.

"-sleeping," Starscream whispered back, and there was more kissing, "-won't even notice I was gone."

Thundercracker's scowl deepened. He started thinking about all the unpleasant ways he could get Starscream back for this. They had a whole week of survival training to go. And he knew where Starscream hid his clean underwear.

The heated make out session going on outside finally came to finish with Megatron's soft, "goodnight'. Such a bizarrely casual, affection statement coming from Megatron. It almost gave Thundercracker a headache thinking about their leader communicating in any way that wasn't a barked order.

The tent unzipped and cold air made it inside along with Starscream. Thundercracker closed his eyes again but couldn't relax the frown from his face. He could hear how out of breath his brother was, and there was a musky, Megatron-like smell about him as he fell down beside Thundercracker.

He cracked an eye open to peak. In the darkness he could just about make out Starscream's rumpled collar and mussed hair. He looked like he'd been attacked by something out there. Mauled by a rabid tiger.

But then, Thundercracker supposed he sort of had been...

"...You're awake?"

Thundercracker looked up and found his brother staring at him, brown eyes wide with worry.

"Yeah," Thundercracker didn't really want to have a conversation about what he may or may not have witnessed Starscream doing in the back of the military jeep in the middle of the night, so he went for nonchalant obliviousness.

"Where were you?"

"Just... had to relieve myself," Starscream grumbled, wriggling down into his sleeping bag, knocking Thundercracker in the tight space.

"I thought I heard speaking," Thundercracker couldn't help but poke at him a little bit. Teasing was in his job description. He was the big brother after all. By four minutes anyway.

"You're hallucinating," Starscream muttered from the depths of his sleeping bag. "Go to sleep."

Thundercracker rolled towards Skywarp, and got a waft of his other brother's breath across his face. He scrunched up his nose.

If Starscream and Megatron hadn't defiled that jeep already, he might have contemplated trying to sleep in there.

 

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Isla Inferno](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15910584) by [kanonkita](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanonkita/pseuds/kanonkita)




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